Ok, So I have this older brother who used to live in San Diego, CA and now lives in Park City,UT his name is Michael David Selman. We in the family call him Mike. I decided that the peeps and I need to go visit said brother because he is fixing up a cabin and so he lives all alone in the woods. Now the logistics of moving all the peeps and all of their gear and making sure the boys won't be hungry, bored, thirsty, whiney, or fighty plus time it perfectly so that I feed Millie right before the start of the trip, she sleeps during the drive and we end up somewhere breastfeeding friendly by her next feeding is, shall we say, challenging. Well we tried it and found ourselves in the car and on our way up Provo Canyon. Now I forgot to remember that Provo Canyon is under construction and there are delays....long delays. But I had snacks and water and art kits, Mills was sleeping and I felt rather confident. Did I mention the delays were long? Turns out that I didn't bring enough snacks and the animals started getting restless. By the time we got close to Park City they were in full-fledged starvation mode. Never fear I am a super-mom, so I called Mike, Michael if you are in a serious relationship with him, and had him meet us for lunch rather than us driving the extra twenty minutes to get to his canyon abode. We met at Loco Lizard. Well the problem is I am on Weight Watchers and I was starving and my brother feels the need to order appetizers and I will just say I did not hold up well under the pressure. At least we were fed, I guess. Well lunch got wrapped up and Mike assured us( after paying for the bill-bless his heart) that the cabin would only be about 15-20 mins away. Millie was getting close to feeding time( wow that makes one of us sound like an animal) We hurried off to find the cabin. First though we had to stop at Mike's bosses house and switch vehicles. No prob as long as we make it quick. Well did I mention that Mike has no children and of course has never breastfed and so his idea of quick and my idea are a tad different. After about 20 minutes and some photo ops we were on the way to the cabin. Did I mention that Millie was starting to get restless.
Well Mike's burb(that is short for suburban) was jam-packed with stuff and could only hold one little boy and one dog. Sadly I have two little boys. So after a serious paper/rock/scissors in which Henry assured Max that rocks rip paper Henry was neatly seatbelted in the burb and Max was in the van. Now Max is no dumby and made sure for the next twenty minutes I got an earful about how unfair life is. (Sad but true my boy, maybe it is good that your 5 year old brain knows this.) Well, we start following Mike and we are driving up a beautiful canyon. Max is still lamenting the loss of the ride with Mike and Millie is whimpering but I know we don't have too far to go. So I am driving , following, going up hill, starting to realize car is gutless, Mike is a little far ahead, van now in 1st gear going about 5 mph, Mike...Mike??? where are you? and we were lost in the mountains on some crappy dirt road my baby is screaming at this point and Max is now certain that we are going to die and life is BEYOND not fair. Did I mention that Mike has no reception in the mountains and so I 'm texting things like"we are lost" "where are you" " do you know arapaho" and he is texting things like"where are you foo?'" "you are a total dork neck" and other such things that aren't very helpful. Finally (30 mins of driving on dirt roads with two crying children) I find a gravel hill text Mike that I am not going another inch and feed the starving baby. I roll down the windows and turn off the car and to my horror here comes Kujo ( ok it was just a really barky yellow lab) trying to get into the van. So I roll up the windows, calm Max down and resume breastfeeding. About 15 minutes later Mike shows up only to make fun of us for getting lost.(tell me people who was the leader in this little charade?) So we follow Mike the rest of the way to the cabin( did I mention I can drive and breastfeed-don't judge, it was a dirt road, there were no people and we went really slow) At last we are at the cabin which is really just a construction zone but there was a great deck and I got to hear all of Mike's funny run-ins with people. Oh and I got some great pics. Even though my brother sucks as leader he is pretty dang cool. He is probably the best cook I know, he is free as a bird, he is very handy and builds beautiful things, he would give you the shirt off his back, he has a wacko sense of humor, the oddest things happen to him, and he has given me the word DORKNECK. Man I love that guy.
SO here are the pics sorry there are so dang many words to read. I got a tad bit carried away.
4 comments:
ohhh, marnae. you are hilarious. completely, utterly entertaining in all ways, and i loved your tale of the disaster-prone trip. i will also try to remember henry's tip about rocks ripping paper the next time i am in the throes of a heated rock/paper/scissors match.
Sounds like a crazy adventure, luckily you are super-mom! p.s. I worked my last dental hygiene work day yesterday for about the next 5 years. I had a good run though didn't I?
my brother can beat up your brother. and i am not sure about how i feel about you breastfeeding the mills while driving. danger, mjarn, danger.
Marnae - I loved this entry. So true to life. I laughed my head off. Only a mother who has breastfed before can understand....
Post a Comment